Okay, I really didn’t think it would work. But since Mariel is my friend, I agreed to give it a try.
I was a big fan of talk therapy in the 80’s. The problem was, I didn’t really change. Therapy was just a place to come and dump my problems, cry, get some support and move on.
That’s because I’ve never been one to trust myself. Never believed I would be lucky enough to ride in a limo like Monmouth County New Jersey Limo. (See their site here: www.manalapannjlimos.com)
I had given up on believing that I could change, that good experiences could be seeking me out.
Well, yesterday, Mariel offered something entirely different. She had me close my eyes and bring the different parts of myself center stage to talk to me. The part of me that raises objections to everything I do came as a lounge singer smoking a cigarette.
My thyroid showed up looking like a dried up peanut. (I have low thyroid). And my colon looked like Sponge Bob Square Pants but he was round and didn’t have that goofy look on his face. (I have chronic constipation.)
Other parts of me showed up, too, as we talked. It was so fascinating! By the time the session was over, I felt more integrated than I ever have in my whole life.
In many ways, I felt like I had multiple personalities that finally came together, except these were feelings. I have fought with myself all my life, hated and berated myself. Now I wasn’t at odds with who I was any more. Instead, much to my surprise, I felt peace!
That has never happened to me before. EVER. Any therapy session I ever had, I left feeling marginally better but then the feeling would evaporate.
Yesterday, a whole lotta negativity got untangled. The pieces of an elusive puzzle suddenly and without much effort dropped into place. Can you imagine that?
Today, I’m working and feeling like an integrated person. And it’s kind of weird. It feels like the pressure valve has been released and I can breathe.
For a woman who has always felt flighty and insecure, I now feel way more settled and confident. That’s huge for me.
What Does Faith Feel Like?
Somewhere in the midst of all that untangling, faith came in and gently wove itself throughout my heart. The books I’m reading about trusting the Universe are suddenly making more sense to me now.
I’m not saying I’m ready to part the ocean, but I am saying that I have experienced a profound shift, an embrace, if you will, of a mindset I thought I could never have.
For me, faith has become this quiet knowing; it’s a reverberation or humming, in my solar plexus that acts as a geiger counter. When I’m contemplating a path to take, I get this warm sensation in my gut, if it’s the right direction for me to take. Or, if it isn’t, my solar plexus feels cold and dark.
Yes, I feel guided. The difference now is I don’t fight it. And that’s a big difference.
I’m not saying the kind of guided visualization I had with my friend, Mariel, is right for you. I am saying that if you are a truth seeker, it’s worth exploring.