“Faith never looks out of the window at the blizzard. It simply prepares for the blessing asked for.” Florence Scovel Shinn
Those vehicles are so luxurious and beautiful. Everything about them says, “prosperity.”
Instead, I learned early on to prepare for the worst because most assuredly the worst would come. I figured my life was more like Lilly Title Company in Staunton.
It was a necessity, something I would pay for because I had to have it. Because, you know, the worst would come!
I knew I was not one of the lucky ones who would be awarded the good in life.
So prepare I did. With a constant knot in my stomach, I saw the world as a thorny path to be tread carefully. I got bruised and scratched a lot. But here’s the weird thing. I never questioned it! I expected it.
It wasn’t until I became an adult that I discovered others who chose to create a world that attracted all kinds of goodness into their lives. From getting squired in chauffeured limousines to simply feeling comfortable in their own skin, these people had more joy than anyone I had ever met before. Yes, they had their share of misfortune, but that was what was so interesting.
- Blame others
- Cry about their circumstances
These people took a look at those life events and tried to find the gift in them! This went contrary to everything I knew about life. I thought it was a courageous and fearless way to live.
But it couldn’t possibly work for me. I was different. Those people were far better than I. Their lives were more important, more magical, more connected to God than mine.
Well, I was right about one thing. They were more connected to God than I was. I had chosen to invest my emotions into fear instead of faith.
And that’s what grew.
It took me a very long time to accept that the Universe wanted to be a big part of my life, that it kept tapping on my shoulder asking to be let in. Old scripts kept running in the background:
How could any great being want to help me?
Didn’t this powerful and benevolent spirit have more pressing matters to attend to like world peace?
Once I wrapped my head around the possibility that the Universe did indeed think I was worth its benevolent attention, there was just one more tiny stumbling block.
How could I believe when everything looked bleak?
That familiar knot in my stomach enjoyed its home there. No way it was going to leave without a fight. So I dug in, too.
I began to re-read spirituality books like The Game Of Life And How To Play It (see “Broke Or Broken Hearted?” post for link to this classic) to gain strength and build a positive foundation.
For someone who was taught to believe that I was not worthy of good things, this is extremely hard work!
Little by little, day by day, (and sometimes, hour by hour!), I allowed my belief in the Universe to penetrate my hull of fear. It was a lot like walking blindfolded into a dark room.
I’ve always been taught to believe in what I could control and then prepare for the worst. In short, I was taught fear over faith, even though my family was a church-going bunch.
Funny, isn’t it?
Even now, with as much work as I’ve done on myself, whenever I feel overwhelmed and panicked, my first reaction is to revert back to that old negative system of fear.
Here’s what I know.
Becoming a faithful person is a lifelong process. Each day, you must decide to choose faith over fear.
Whenever you are truly down and you’re sure the world is against you, think back to a time when you were inspired, when you felt safe, and life was good. Then attach that feeling to your current situation.
Let the juice of another wonderful life experience fill you up and guide you out of murky emotions.
Keep imagining it over and over again. Then take positive action. You’ll find your way back to wholeness more quickly. And your life will be lifted to a higher place.